Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Battles of a Food Addict

Dark Chocolate Yogurt Covered DEVILS!
Sometimes it's difficult to explain food addiction.  Normally when a person hears the word "addiction" their brains automatically drift to thoughts of drugs or alcohol, but food addiction is very real.  I am a food addict and a compulsive over-eater.  When I start any new healthy lifestyle change and try to stop those habits, I go through horrible withdrawal (which is why I turn into a demon for about a week). And while I will always get "cravings" which I can usually deal with, sometimes it gets a bit stronger than that... and sometimes if I'm in a weak state of mind, it can go horribly horribly wrong very easily, and very quickly.

I faced one of those very moments today, and  I am more than happy to be able to say that I conquered it!  Fellow food addicts know exactly what I'm talking about, but for those of you who don't, let me try and paint you a picture of the excruciating battles that can take place in the mind of a food addict.

My first wrong move was grocery shopping on an empty stomach. NEVER DO THAT!  So I'm going up and down the aisles, sticking to my list, and I hit the frozen food aisle.  Going by the Lean Cuisines, steamed veggie bags, uh oh.... we hit the ice cream!  So even though I know I can't eat any of what I'm looking at, I start looking at it (second mistake: NEVER stop to look at check out food that you know you shouldn't eat).  I'm letting cravings start to unfold, I'm looking at all my favorite flavors, I'm thinking about how I could just buy one right now and eat it and no one would have to know.  I wouldn't have to tell anyone, it could just be my secret.  Then I stop and think no, I shouldn't do that. So do I walk away? Nope, not yet! Then I gravitate towards the small "single serving" ice cream cups.  This is much better, I can eat these, then I don't have to feel that guilty about it.... finally something kicked in and I thought "Get out of here!".  I storm down the rest of the aisle keeping my eyes straight ahead.

I literally stopped at the end of the aisle to take a deep breath.  I actually thought, "Wow, that almost went bad..."  I continue shopping.  While walking to the produce department I spot the candy aisle.  I think about buying a large bag of Peanut Butter M&M's... I keep walking.  I spot the cookie aisle. I keep myself in check thinking, "You do not need anything in that aisle"... keep walking... I made it to the produce. "I'm safe!" I thought...

Now you would think that being surrounded by fresh fruits and vegetables that I'd be safe.  I felt safe, until I spotted them.  Dark Chocolate Yogurt Covered Raisins. I stop to imagine how amazing it would be to buy a big bag, go home, sit on the couch, and eat the whole thing all by myself.... QUICK RUN!  I booked it to the checkout.  There is one lane open and a loooong line. And what is that line right in front of?!  Bakery fresh red velvet cake with cream cheese icing!  My head was spinning at that point!  Thankfully, a cashier snuck up behind me and told me she could take me at another register.  SAVED!

So needless to say, what should have been a routine trip to a grocery store turned into a full on battle between the angel on my right shoulder and the devil on my left.  That is the sort of thing that food addicts have to deal with.  I'm just happy that today I came out on top! 

PrettyT 1: Food Addiction: 0

xoxo Pretty T

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